Friday, November 14, 2008

Animalize

Our local Humane Society is running an ad campaign touting its mission to provide a pet for "every man, woman, and child." Every time I see it, I shudder, because it makes me momentarily concerned that someone is going to force me to adopt a puppy.

I am not interested in having a pet. I realize they're great companions and they love you, and they teach children to be comfortable around animals and take care of them. But, really, no. To me, most pets are hairy and smelly and loud and ruin the furniture and are just one more thing to think about when you are trying to plan a trip out of town. Yes, I'm sorry, even yours.

That's not to say I don't appreciate certain animals. I do like cats (cue the dog people in the audience removing me from their feed readers). But they have sharp claws and all that damn hair. I can appreciate a nicely trained dog, as long as I don't have to sleep near it or, heaven forbid, WITH it, and it doesn't leave saliva anywhere on me. There's a turtle in our extended family that I've admired, mainly because it once crawled into someone's raincoat pocket and showed up unscathed several months later.

I grew up on and near a cattle ranch, where animals were outside and people were inside, and only when the temperature dropped further than 20 degrees below zero was that barrier crossed. Yes, even the bunnies stayed out of the living room. I've got a unique (warped?) view of animals, especially pets. I realize that.

So does the Human Society really think that every man, woman and child should own a pet? Clearly they've never met me.

7 comments:

distracted by genius said...

Think of it this way: other people have enough pets to cover you and your family, so the Humane Society can rest easy. My 150 pounds of dog definitely absolves several others of having a pet at all. While I love my dogs, I certainly appreciate the upsides to not having animals- after all, vacuuming is not actually my favorite hobby!

kerri said...

Yay! Penelope gets a shout out! ;)

merrymishaps said...

We've got more cats than people in our house (3 to 2), and care for a stray that lives in our yard. I think we've got you covered!

eric said...

Remember what Janeane Garofalo said "us...them..."

-R- said...

I am not a pet person either. My sister is a vet and thinks my lack of pets makes me a bad person, but I don't care!

B. said...

But if you don't have a pet, you can't dress it up, post pictures on Flickr and then receive complaints you're demeaning the breed... which is totally something you should add to your Life List.

Blythe said...

B., you're killing me.