Thursday, June 05, 2008

Why I Am Uninformed About Current Events

Naptime begins.

Sit down to acquaint myself with world news. Open CNN website.

Obama, FLDS, hockey, space station toilet, Hulk Hogan's son, hmmm...what's this?

Read that Tatum O'Neal has been arrested for purchasing cocaine. She claims she lapsed due to her grief over the death of her dog, and that she spent the night in jail "on a mattress with two ladies." Also, that she is "still sober!"

Initial reaction: Smirking, snorting laugh. This woman is a trainwreck and a terrible liar. Didn't she win an Oscar? Shouldn't she be better at this?

Next thought: Should be sad for her. Yes, she is a tragic figure. Little girl lost. Weird yet handsome father. Bizarre mother figure who was once Charlie's Angel. Yes, should be sad. She needs help. She is like Drew Barrymore. There is hope.

Next thought: Am not sad. Saw her appearance on Oprah where she was as believable as - well, as someone who has just purchased drugs on the street and shouts to a reporter, "I'm still sober!" Not like Drew Barrymore.

Next thought: John McEnroe was married to her for a long time. Is he bizarre too? He is obnoxious but does not seem bizarre. He is married again, I think.

Next thought: They have kids. Those poor kids. I think they live with their father.

Next thought: Yes! Married to Patti Smythe! "I a-am the Warrior."

Next thought: I can't believe she has an Oscar. And then she was in a movie with Kristy McNichol. Jeff loves Kristy McNichol. She was too much of a tomboy for me. What ever happened to her?

Wander off to IMDB. (Bipolar disorder, Jimmy McNichol. Nancy McKeon, Philip McKeon?) Resurface only because naptime is long over.

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