Monday, August 28, 2006

BooHoo Yahoo

So, apparently, Yahoo switched around all of the photos that I'd so lovingly linked to this morning. So all the links below are wrong, wrong wrong. Though Lisa Rinna does bear a passing resemblance to Dracula. And, wow, Helen Mirren really does look amazing for her age!

*UPDATE*
I've fixed the links below and even added some new ones. Until Yahoo decides to re-order their photos again, they should take you to the people you're expecting to see.

Town and Gown

I watched the Emmy awards last night, though I haven't seen a single episode of the nominated shows so I really had no opinion about who won. I left the country before the kickoff of the television season and returned when it was over. So, for me, it was all about critiquing fashion, drooling over handsome men in tuxedos, and wondering how I could get my hair to do some of that stuff.

-The hosts of the pre-show sported some of the evening's more frightening styles. Maria Menounos and her dracula collar edged out Nancy Odell and her Rapunzel extensions for strangest look of the evening.

-All the beige, grey, and other earth toned dresses must look good in person, but they just don't translate to television. Kyra Sedgwick's hair was gorgeous and the dress was dreamy but the color looked like a dirty washrag. A couple of blondes with very strong features - Felicity Huffman and Heather Locklear - managed to pull off the brown/beige thing - but too many people did not.

-As long as we're talking about hair - highlights included Mariska Hargitay's bangs (hmmm...I wonder if I should cut my bangs...), Patrick Dempsey's waves (as always), and all those pretty updos. Lowlights: Calista Flockhart's messy ponytail (I was wearing the same hairdo while watching the show, sitting on my couch in sweats), and Ellen Pompeo's severely pulled-back and straightened locks that looked like my hair in my third grade school photo.

-On the other hand, Ellen looked lovely in her crushed velvet dress, though she must have been roasting in the 100-degree heat. She always seems so gracious. I can almost forgive her for getting to smooch Patrick Dempsey.

-Must've been take-your-niece-to-the-awards-show night. I hope. Either that or John Voigt, Tony Shalhoub, and Sean Hayes have some explaining to do. (I want Sean Hayes to be my uncle - how much more fun would that make Thanksgiving dinner?)

-The red dress brigade almost made up for the beigey blahs. Edie Falco, Jane Kaczmarek, Heidi Klum, and a gorgeous Allison Janney looked great in red.

-It was awesome to see the original Charlie's Angels onstage together. The sheer amount of plastic surgery up there was a sight to behold. And that's not counting cutaways to the Spellings and Joan Collins. Or Barry Manilow, or Dick Clark.

-Barry Manilow was his irresistible, theatrical self all night, despite prepping for hip surgery the following day. Watching him with that in mind, and seeing Dick Clark sitting on that chair, even made me feel old.

-It's about time Duckie Dale got nominated for an award. Though Two and a Half Men isn't exactly Shakespeare, how can you dislike Jon Cryer? Sitting up there in the front row. Where's Molly Ringwald NOW?

-Farmer Ted was there too. Thank you, John Hughes.

-In case you needed proof that writers provide the highs and lows of television, note the My Name is Earl writer who told his elementary school teacher "no thanks" for telling him he wasn't funny (a highlight of the evening) and the writer of Elizabeth I who looked like he might keel over from terror at any second (not a highlight).

-Debra Messing looked pretty from the neck up, but those white ruffles didn't do her any favors. They made her look wide. And she is not wide.

-On the other hand, Helen Mirren looked amazing in her white gown with her white hair and the best speech of the night. She and the daffy Blythe Danner (who actually pulled off that turquoise dress - though I'm not so sure about the belt) were two of my favorites.

-I am grossed out every time I see that Fancy Feast commercial advertising cat food that is "inspired by restaurant entrees." Ick.

-Also grossed out by Simon Cowell's chest hair. Good music sense. No fashion sense.

-My favorite gentlemen:
Jeremy Piven (even with his strange ascot)
Dennis Leary (I used to hate his schtick but he has grown on me over the years)
Sean Hayes
Jon Cryer

-Favorite ladies:
Annette Bening - loved that shorter dress
Allison Janney - wow
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Narciso Rodriguez can do no wrong
Katherine Heigl - the Charlize Theron Oscar-winner look sans orange fake tan
Virginia Madsen - awesome cleavage
Helen Mirren
Kelly MacDonald - cute dress, cuter accent

And, Conan was funny. I thought the bit with Bob Newhart was worth a few laughs. But Bob Newhart almost always cracks me up. Really.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Medical terminology

Am I the only one who read the news this morning and wondered why Gerald Ford needs a nosejob at this late date?

Um, yeah, I probably was.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

So much depends on a red Speedo

It's been a season of high drama so far on Rock Star: Supernova. Tommy Lee's ex- wife and former Baywatch hottie has staged four or five weddings, and hostess Brooke Burke just announced her engagement to Tommy's ex-wife's French ex-boyfriend and former Baywatch hottie. Gilby has started bringing his dog to work, and 'mentor' Dave Navarro is getting divorced from a former Baywatch hottie. Jason is thinking about buying a red Speedo.

Oh? This is a show about music? Is David Hasselhoff going to be on?

I'm still watching, keeping my fingers crossed for Storm, but I'm worried for her. The Boys seem to love Dilana as much as ever, despite her frightening fake eyelashes and lackluster Police cover last night. I am unable to form an opinion of Lukas's performances because he just bugs me. I can't get over his offstage persona, and besides, all of these guys know how important it is to any rock band to have a sexy lead singer, and I'm not sure who might think this guy is sexy. I am not a Ryan fan, but last night I saw why he could walk away with the gig. Toby, what was up with the chest-writing? Does EVS mean SOY BOMB in Australia? Patrice's song was enjoyable; too bad we won't likely be seeing her again after this evening. And Magni seems like a cool guy, but I keep forgetting about him. Who is voting for him? Can they vote on this show in Iceland?

It's getting down to the point where I can imagine any of the contestants (ahem, ROCKERS) winning. Now that Zayra and her go-go boots are finally gone.

*UPDATE*
Bye-bye Patrice. And who else thinks they made Dilana look bad last night just so it would seem like more of a horserace?

Sunday, August 20, 2006

I made this.


I am periodically inspired to craftiness, and with that urge, combined with the nesting instinct (or was it the shopping instinct?), I marauded the aisles of the local craft store yesterday and assembled the supplies to stencil these little numbers. If I ever get around to doing another batch, I will be less zealous with the paint (as you can see, I had a small bleeding issue) and buy a sharp X-Acto knife. The original inspiration for this project came from Emily's blog . You should check it out, even if you aren't interested in learning how to stencil animals onto your dry goods. Because she is funny and, also, pregnant.

Trolling

Just when you thought it was safe to go into the internet.

Check out dooce's latest post about the trolls that live in her email box. I've seen enough screeching at airline ticket agents to understand that there is plenty of misdirected anger floating around out in the world, but I am puzzled by people who take the time to read a friendly, funny (to my sense of humor) and quite tame (by comparison to the rest of what's out there) blog, then compose long, vitriolic emails to the author chronicling their critcisms for her writing and boredom with her stories. I'm the one who has too much time on my hands, and even I haven't stooped to this level. Go see a movie or something, people.

Or, watch this video. I dare you not to crack a smile.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Evidence

It's official - I love the USA and I am definitely pregnant. Wanna know how why I'm sure?
1. A friendly young man bagged my groceries at the local supermarket this afternoon.
2. He offered to carry the bags to my car.
3. For the first time in my life, I accepted that offer.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Story Hour

At the risk of turning this into a book blog, I'm posting another entry about books. Deal with it.

Once upon a time, I was in a very nice book group with a bunch of very nice ladies. We drank wine and ate food and we really did talk about the books (well, except for those two or three meetings where only a couple of people read the book and everyone else had to be taken to task but eventually everything was smoothed over). They're still talking and reading and drinking. I'm still reading but not so much talking (except to myself) or drinking (except the Slurpees).

As a consequence of my reading habits and my longtime book group membership, I get asked "What book should I suggest for my book group?" a lot. So here are three books that went over very well with my (former) book group. Note that most of us hadn't heard of these books before someone dredged them up and forced us to read them. They weren't on Oprah or the Today show or anyone else's bookclub lists. Maybe that makes us a bunch of freaks, but if your book group is full of freaks too, then read these books:

Helter Skelter by Vincent Bugliosi
Scary but not trashy, though the cover and the fact that the author's name rhyms with Bela Lugosi will lead you to believe otherwise. My seatmates on Alaska Airlines scootched a little further away from me when they noticed what I was reading on the plane.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt
Reading this book eventually became a kind of initation rite for new members. We talked it up so much that now we get blamed whenever someone doesn't like it. ("You called this a masterpiece? I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a masterpiece.") But we did love it. We didn't love her next book, The Little Friend, as much. (But if you can figure out who freaking killed Robin, please email me because I went to a reading and Ms. Tartt swears that the answer is in the book. Apparently I'm too obtuse to figure it out.)

The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell
Don't tell me you aren't interested in Sci Fi or that you don't like to read about god or religion. This story is about the universe, and humanity. And music. It's awesome.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

No, I haven't fallen off the Internet

I've spent the past three weeks in the USA, drinking Slurpees (apparently my pregnancy craving of choice), eating tacos, and absorbing all the social interaction that I can. I'm still unsaturated.

It is telling that, upon Jeff's return to our Furth apartment yesterday, we had zero voice mail messages and just a couple of bank statements in our mailbox. I've received no email from anyone in Deutschland since I've been away. Do we really live there at all?

I will be in my homeland for a while longer. I hope I remember all of the German driving regulations by the time I return.

If you're reading this, you are either here because you are trying to research your Noel Coward paper (sorry, try the library) or because you are part of my huge internet fanclub. To the fans: I'm going to try to post a bit more often - shout out to all three of you.