Tuesday, June 13, 2006

When country wasn't cool

Dear Britney,

I've been a fan for years. I listen to your albums and I respect your mad dancing skills. You don't have to fake those moves like so many of your teen-pop colleagues. I hung with you during the restaurant-mogul debacle, the hideous bondage/newsboy outfit, and the Justin breakup. I get why you might have wanted to fool around with that cute choreographer who was once "close" with Michael Jackson. I tolerate Federcreep in the same way that my high school friends and I tolerated each others' unwise romantic choices.

I sympathize with your plight as media lightning rod, and I think you're learning your lesson that notoriety has its price. I imagine that back when Lou Pearlman was advising you to wear a Wonderbra and smile big for the flashbulbs, you had no idea that it would result in your baby boy being shoved around by slimy guys with cameras and in Child Protective Services showing up at your house. Being a mom isn't an easy job, especially when the world is watching your every move.

But in your latest TV interview with Matt Lauer (who must be paying off celebrity publicists to send their clients to the slaughter in front of his cameras - just ask Tom Cruise) you took it one step too far. You tried to blame bad decisions on being "country." And that's like a knife to my heart.

Britney, I was country once too. I rollerskated around the neighborhood for hours unsupervised. I fished for trout with my grandpa. I picked wildflowers and scratched my mosquito bites. And, yes, I sat on my dad's lap and "drove" the pickup, just like you did. But let's be honest. Neither of us grew up in Los Angeles, and we both know that a dirt road is different than a freeway or a parking garage, and that we weren't pretending to steer the pickup at less than one year old. I'd say that you panicked, that you wanted to get the heck away from those aggressive photographers and you made a bad decision. It happens to the best of us.

But don't try to blame it on being country. You left the country behind when you married your wannabe hip-hop backup dancer, launched your own perfume line, and hired a staff. It's time to be an adult, stop weeping on national television, and take some time away from the cameras. Maybe, dare I suggest it, go back to being a little more country. Spend some time in Louisiana (or possibly Namibia) and enjoy your kid(s). Because country doesn't mean stupid.

We, your fans, promise to welcome you back when you are ready.

Sincerely, your fan,
Blythe

4 comments:

Kerri said...

You go girl!! Thanks for the nice break from work. Britney, Britney, Britney...

xoxox,
Kerri

Brian said...

Blythe, posts like this are why I love reading you blog. Way to capture the moment, the zeitgeist (sp?) even. -Brian

Erica said...

On behalf of all country girls, thank you. I too grew up watching the city council members race beds down Main Street and checking out books from the Book Mobile but never have I thought a bout driving the car with my son on my lap. Shouldn't she be getting better advice from her publicist?

Anonymous said...

You rock Blythe! - Monique